Accessability Links

View Your Job Search Through the Eyes of Others

“So, you want to go and work there do you? To do that? Hmmm.”


A job search can seem like an intensely personal task, and it is easy to dismiss the thoughts of others as they simply “don’t understand.” You have been living through all the scenarios for months and as you get to the moment of making your next move it is hard to see how the opinions of those around you could possibly be more valid.


So, you let the comments flow over you like water. You’ve got this covered - you don’t need random suggestions distracting your thought process.


That is a huge mistake.


Any change process needs a huge amount of external input to smooth the edges and grease the wheels. You might be pretty certain in your thinking, but the smallest insight from someone close to you could change your direction by a few degrees and at the end of a 3-month search that could make all the difference. By all means stay close to your heart’s desire, but ignore the views of others at your peril.


Their opinions aren’t more valid, but there may well be a decent degree of validity.


Sometimes, I think that people keep their friends and loved ones at arm’s length because they don’t want them to “own” the job search with them. If they are going to fail, then it will be their failure, and not the collective failure of those around them. Somehow they feel like they are shielding these well-meaning people, but actually in shutting them out of the process, they are making them into effective bystanders at a crucial time.


The best job searches should be conducted from a deeply personal point of view, but ideally also take into account the views and opinions of a few close confidant(e)s. You won’t exactly be in it together, but if a couple of others have been consulted along the way, they will at least understand your struggles that little bit better.


Seeking out different perspectives can allow you to learn from the experience of others. They wouldn’t dream of telling you what to you, but they can say what they did in a similar situation and how it worked out for them.


When you step into someone else’s shoes, even if it for a few minutes, somehow the pressure value of stress releases just that little bit. Thinking about yourself is important, but it can get exhausting. When you think about the experiences of other people, you are allowing yourself to catch your breath.


In any kind of traumatic situation, it is useful to remember that you are not alone. Lean on those close to you and they will help you to get through it. Listen to their views, and let them influence the direction that you are taking.


Your job search will be all the more successful if you view it through their eyes.

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