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One Word That Keeps Me Awake at Night


Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night. Fairly seldom, granted, but often enough to warrant writing a blog about it. Our nightly slumbers are the times when our heads make sense of everything that has gone on in the day, and while my life is far from all about work, there is one work-related thought that has a tendency to revisit me in those moments of insomnia.


The reason that you cannot sleep is that something is bothering you and you haven’t got a convenient place to store that thought. For me, it is a thought that I need to keep working on for the rest of my life, a thought that can never truly be “put to bed” and dealt with….


I worry whether I am giving my people at LMA enough.


Just that one word. Enough.


When “enough” is about something that can be quantified, it is a simple exercise in rational analysis. Have I eaten enough healthy food today? Have I taken enough steps? Have I answered enough emails? You know what a reasonable number is and you base your judgement on that number.


When it comes to people, however, quantifying relationships is that little bit harder.


Especially when they are your people.


I see LMA as my extended family. Many of us have been through a lot together, we have each others’ backs, and we were even voted Recruiter of the Year at the Recruiter Awards last year. That was a good night. We are close because we care about each other – we do this out of choice, not obligation, but as the owner and captain of the ship, I feel an extra responsibility of care for everyone. Am I doing “enough” for them? Whether this is training, development support or simply regular individual chats, I feel that there is always more that I can do. The pressures of running a business can get on top of the most team-oriented leader, and I have the odd days where I definitely don’t give enough to others.


That is what keeps me up at night.

When you are not giving of your best to your work family, you can’t help but be a little reflective. If success is decided by the collective efforts of the team (it absolutely is), why wouldn’t I make it my absolute priority to give them all that I have? Every now and again I just feel that I don’t have enough to give. It is at those difficult times that my management team steps up a gear and gives that little bit more themselves. For me, that is what a great company is all about. We help each other out and fill in the gaps when we need to.


This is a different blog to my usual writing. I suppose I want to write it to show that I care, and that I know that we could all often do better. You can never give “enough” when it concerns other people; there is always more to give. However, on those days when you know that you are definitely not giving enough, it is great to know that there are others around you to pick up the shortfall.


I love my team, and I’ll always try to give them everything I have, even if it might not be enough all of the time. I do my best, and that is that thought that sends me off to sleep.

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